It's All Practical!!
I looked and couldn't find that I posted anything about this before, so I'm going with that. . . . . .
I was talking to someone the other day about practical jokes and it got me thinking. There was a time that I was into practical jokes. I have played some good ones and have had some great ones played on me. Here are the top practical jokes that I have actually been involved in (either giving or receiving)
3. Alka Seltzer – In college, the guys on my floor decided to get me back for something. . . .I’m sure that I did nothing. They had purchased an entire box of Alka Seltzer. They opened them all up and ground all the tablets into a fine powder. They waited until I went into shower and then threw the entire boxed of powdered tablets over the shower curtain and on top of me. . . . . .where I proceeded to unexpectedly fizz.
2. Have a seat – This joke is very hit or miss in today’s society, but back in college it was a slam dunk.
Step 1 – Scope out the local bathroom to see what color toilet seats are present (usually black or white)
Step 2 – Purchase matching color shoe polish.
Step 3 – Apply liberally.
Step 4 – Wait
Now with today’s disposable seat covers, you have less of a chance for success. Pre Sanitary Seat covers, this was a gem.
1. The best practical joke that I have ever witnessed was . . . .again. . . .from my college days. Keep in mind this is a long term practical joke. It’s the gift that keeps on giving and once you start it you can’t turn back. So BEWARE!
My roommate was dating the girl from Cabrini College. He received love mail everyday. EVERY DAY!! So I would go to our 4 in X 3 in mail slot and see his mail. So I would bitch down the hall “I never get any mail!!”
So, the guys on my floor decided that they would fix that. They filled out ever mail in flyer they could find with my name on it and my dorm room. They got bored and began changing my name . . . . Deathlok. . .O’Deathlok, Mc Deathlok, Deathlokonovich, Deathlokberg, Deathlokstein, Mr and Mrs McDeathlokonivichenberg. . . . . .and so on.
Soon, I was receiving mail for AARP applications, retirement homes (with floor plans), a sheet of material that if you wet your foot and put your footprint on it and mail it in, they will make you a custom pair of orthopedic shoes, condom samples (which were stolen before I even opened them . . . .the list went on and on and on. Soon, when I opened the mail slot the only thing in there was a yellow piece of paper. When I presented the paper to the mailroom, they would give me a bucket of mail. . . .. everyday. T
To give you an idea of how this gift keeps on giving, three or four years later, my brother was attending the same college and he started to get my mail forwarded to him.
Honorable Mention – this doesn’t make the official list because we never finished it. . . .a shame really.
Years ago, Grimjack and I would drive by this one house on our way to the pick someone up for the bar. This house had a Penguin on their lawn. We thought that was awesome. After a few POST DRINKING trips, we thought it would be funny to steal the penguin, take down their address and begin sending ransom notes. Then we decided we could get it trouble for that, we retooled our plan and decided that we should mail postcard from the penguin from all over the world. Anytime we would hear that someone was going on vacation, we would have them send a postcard from “The Penguin”.
One rainy night we were swerving our way home and it hit us. “Let’s Get it!” and we swiped the penguin. I stayed in the back of my car for a long time. (One particularly late night. . .and by late, I mean drunken. . . . Grimjack and his friend Mary were chasing my car because in the state that they were in, they came to the conclusion that the secret formula to Cap’n Crunch was inside the penguin and they had to get it . . . .but I digress).
Finally, after months, we decided to just return the penguin with a little suitcase with travel stickers on it. When we drove by, the house had two lawn frogs on the lawn. We were so incensed that they thought that two lawn frogs could replace the penguin, that we decided that they didn’t deserve to have the penguin back. He soon became a fixture outside my apartment. Eventually he fell apart, but a God shined down on me one day, I was walking through a store and saw a brand new penguin that was THE SAME PENGUIN. He is outside my house today.
So, anyone got any good practical jokes???