Saturday, October 28, 2006

Man's Weekend - The Rebuttal - Part 3

Saturday!! Saturday isn't Saturday at MWE without a trip to Westie's! the best breakfast sandwiches ever! Eggs and any type of breakfast meat you could want! Scrapple please! It absorbs the night before and lays a good base for the night to come.

A little Hockey Fight Tape, a little Boondocks Saints and we are ready for FOOTBALL ON THE BEACH! As I think about football on the beach, I am reminded of the veritable plethora of snapping vertibrae this morning at the Chiropractor's . . . .AWESOME!! But I digress. . . . . .The young guys have become more athletic and the new young guys become more round and decrepid. As we watched Vinnie's football float out to sea, I wished that I were on it. To my credit, I know how to out think the opposition. I covered (and I use THAT term loosely) the guy that couldn't catch. So, despite the knee brace, the wrist brace and the complete lack of ability to cover my man, I only let up one TD. So on the stat sheet, I looked pretty good. In person. . . .not so much.

After the game, Wyatt and a band of bore and disgruntled went away. We soon after left for Avalon and the Winddrift, where everone would meet up later. The small faction that are my friends, my nephew and his friend Eric settled in for a little dinner before the crowd of obnoxious drunks (i.e. everyone else) got there. As we were early, we made friends with the bartenders (bartenderette?). One in particular. . . .Debbie!

Debbie had a little parking cone on a necklace. We found out that the cone was left at the bar during the summer and became an icon for the bar. At the end of the summer, some woman took the cone and wouldn't give it back until Debbie cleared the bar of this woman's (and all her friends) drinks. Cone Order was restored. When she went to serve some "less fun" people at the other end of the bar, Jim and I took the cone and put it under a "pint glass". Pint glass here being spelled "A P-L-A-S-T-I-C C-U-P". When she found it she said that it was proof that the cone was irresistable. "Watch this! You friends at the end of the bar? One of them will pick it up if I leave it there." Jim and I promptly bet that Vinnie will pick it up. Debbie points out Badger. YOU'RE ON! She walks down to Badger, Vinnie and Wyatt.. . . ."Need Anything?" Of course! Shots! She turns 3/4 of the way around and Badger has it in his hand. They then want to know why we and the bartender are hysterical. The shots kept coming. . . . .chocolate cake, lemondrops, swedish fish, other stuff all in a rainbow haze.

I got up at 8:00 and groaned my way to the car and, with a brief stop at home to switch suitcases and pick up the wife, drove to Maine.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Top Five Comments at MWE

Top Five Comments of the Weekend
5. "Are we leaving? I'll be right there. We're making Par juice!"
4. "Vinnie, your football gonna get wet." (see Wyatt's blog for the full story)
3. "I'll bet you one of those guys (Badger, Vinnie, Wyatt) will pick up this cone necklace if I place it on the bar." - (Story to follow in part 3)
2. "I hit this one drive. . . .. went right in the water. I just wanted to get into the conversation" (after listening to my brother and his son talk for 10 minutes about their good drive and general good play.
1. "Is that a joke? I get jokes!"

Man's Weekend - The Rebuttal - Part 2

THIS is not what you want to wake up to in the morning. ANY MORNING!! Geez. . .US!! It wasn't bad enough that I had to listen to the snoring/manatee mating call all night. I like it better when it was dark.

So Friday we set out for golf. Now normally, we drop about $38 for golf this year it jumped to $75. . . .EYIKES!! A little (lottle) bit rich for my blood, but the course was very nice and the rain stopped as we were teeing of the first hole. The thing about golf that I love is that since I'm not very good (a consistant 131), I'm amazed to find that things occur to me that defy description. On this day, I approach a shot in the fairway. The other three guys are watching. As I hit the ball, my 5 iron breaks in two. No no, Not the shaft! The paddle cracked in half. (no one's ever seen that before). Add to that . . .we had four grown men watching this and we couldn't find the ball . . .or the clubhead. I believe that wormholes were involved.

My brother, Vinnie and Wyatt. . . They don't know that when you are playing golf after heavily drinking the night before, you don't bring "par juice" or suffer the $75 experience away. You bring along a Pharmacist with 600mg Modins. Best meal of the day.

After golf, I strayed from the usual MWE fare. As I knew the Pour House awaited, I passed on the Wawa Shorty run and helf out for really expensive Irish Lamb Stew. Once you drop $75 for golf, $18 for lamb stew is nothing. The Guinness just kept on pouring. Yummy!

Man's Weekend - A Rebuttal!!

The summary of Man's Weekend as seen through the blurry eyes of Wyatt can be read here

However, being elsewhere in location or mental state leaves holes in the story. So let me act as the spackle to the aforementioned diatribe.

After thirteen years of Man's Weekend, my two highschool friends and I were talking about the "Origin of Man's Weekend". Although we disagreed at first we came to the conclusion that the FIRST Man's Weekend was actually the The three of us plus another who is not to be named. . . call them Gus. When we were down in Sea Isle City on year, we decided that we should do this every year. . . and invite more people. Since it wasn't the OFFICIAL first Man's Weekend, we have dubbed it Remedial Man's Weekend.

Friday Spackle:

As Wyatt pointed out Thursday night is LaCosta night. I loathe LaCosta. Fortunately, I still had my work game face on when we got there. When the LaCosta yearly chant of "Do you want a Lager, Amstel Light or a Coors Light??" rang out. I felt the illness rise. I looked over at the package goods store attached and went to work. I asked the guy behind the counter if I could buy a sixpack of Guinness and take it in.


But you don't serve anything good in there? Aren't you owned by the same guy?

you'd have to talk to the manager. Which just happened to be the bartender. Okay, here we go.

(over the to the bartender) Can I get a six pack of Guinness and bring it in!
Can you get me a sixpack of Guinness and bring it in?
I don't have a price for it? . . . . . .You'd have to be willing to buy all six!
Dude, did you see the amount of people that I came in with? If you are going to do that you might want to bring a case.

The case came over at $1 per bottle more than the usual swill and a good time was had by all.

As reported earlier, the Jameson was really flowing that night which made for a painful start for golf the next morning.

We really could have gone somewhere else that night. My nephew, the Halfrican and my friend Burnsy both stopped at the house before coming to LaCosta. Problem - They both went to the wrong house (but the same house). There was a party going on and they each were carrying beer. Of course there was no three ball. The only thing that LaCosta has going for it is that it has a dome hockey table and it was gone this year. At least we had Guinness.

We went back to the house to watch Full Metal Jacket and I lost consciousness. Somehow, I made it from the couch to the upstairs back bedroom in the pitch black, no electric, no light, no heat apartment. A feat which I had trouble repeating the next night when I was sober.

End of Thursday

Catching Up With Death!

I am back from Maine!! YEAH!!!! I got in last night and have been trying to recoup, so I don't know everything that has been going on, but here is what has happened in my absence as I know it to be:

1. Despite being at MWE last week (more on that later), my Fantasy Football team trounced Wyatt aplenty. Putting the Clutch&Crutch team way past the blank shooting Wyatt.

2. Man's Weekend was another success. The Old guys took a pounding in football on the beach. Saturday night Wyatt and Vinnie embarrassed themselves at the bar (sure, nobody was staring at you two goofballs). Somehow during the course of the night I went from "No, I'm just having a Guinness or two. I'm driving!" to "Another round of shots . . . . . Whooooo!" Shot come in an array of fancy colors.

3. Driving to Maine is looooonng!

4. What't the difference between a $65 Lobster dinner in Maine and a $18.95 Lobster dinner in Maine? Answer: About 30 feet. One of the guys that I went to Maine with went for a lobster dinner. This little local dive was crowded so he went next door to a floating restaurant. Lobster and steamers. . . .$65. The next night we all went to the local dive. . .J's Oyster House. I was really surprised not to see a guy with an eyepatch and a hook. It was great. Lobster and steamers. . .$18.95. . . . .The same sized lobster too.

5. The Flyers changed their management staff. They played their first game last night and son in a shoot out. Now, my Dad isn't trying to kill me for talking him into buying tickets this year.

6. According to Entertainment Weekly, Eddie Izzard has been replaced for this season of 24 with some guy named David Hunt who appeared in a few episodes of EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. Sad~

7. Now I have bills to catch up on. I have to see how MWE went on the closing up. Straighten up around here and check up on everyone's blogs. Speaking of which, while I was away I passed the 5,000 mark for my blog. Thank you all who have contributed.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

This Is Rank!

Check out the letter from Ethan Albright to John Madden on being the lowest ranked player on Madden 07.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Must Be 18 To Enter!!

The Kid From Brooklyn is another hysterical website. This is what Wyatt sounds like when he's not on the Blog!


Monday, October 16, 2006

Man's Week End. . . .No Longer Weekend!

This Thursday begins Man's Week End or MWE. Back when my boss was a human being, she once commented that my MWE shirt was incorrect that Man's Weekend should be MW. I told her 1) Since it's starts Thursday afternoon (at least that's when I get there), it's actually Man's Week End and 2) that's why women aren't invited.. . . . .But I digress.

Not to be all self back patting, but I started Man's Weekend about 13 years ago as a way for the guys to get together. You see my friend's from highschool are a little busy with family and live a distance away and I thought this would be a good way to make sure that we got to see each other every year. So, I sent invites out and told my three brothers to invite people. One of my brothers opted out of MWE for personal reasons. The three of us gathered some people and we met at my parents shore house. We drank and played football on the beach and drank while playing football on the beach. . . .

Word spread and the invite list began to expand. Unfortunately, several years ago, my parents sold their shore house, thus leaving us high and dry. So I made a couple of calls and spoke to a neighbor who had a shore house and she agreed to rent us the place VERY CHEAPLY. Being the consummate negotiator, I sweetened the pot by buying her daughter a US Bond every year. Now, she's tickled pink to rent it to us.

interestingly enough, a couple of years ago, a friend of mine (HEY! I have one or two . .. as long as they don't have long exposure to me) said that his wife refused to believe that we didn't have girls down there . . .AFTER LETTING HIM GO FOR 10 YEARS!! There are no girls . . .unless you count the Anime Porn Girls.

The schedule (and I use the term "schedule" loosely) is as follows:

I get down there around 1:00PM pop in a movie and relax (not the Anime Porn)
By early evening, people roll in and we grab something to eat and hit the bar (Please no more LaCosta). This leads to dome hockey and three ball for a buck a round.

Friday is golf day. We golf until about 6:00 or until it gets dark (in my case) and then we head back for a little drinking and then off to the bar again. We used to have basketball on Friday night. . I don't know what happened there.

Wake up to WaWa coffee and Welshie's breakfast sandwiches. Mmmmmmm . .a hangover's best friend. A little warm up and then this year it is back to the beach for football. This is usually followed up by hockey. Somewhere along the line, I get tossed in the net with an elbow pad for a cup and the mockery begins. Fortunately, I am usually so sore from Football that I can't tell that I'm being tortured. One year we took it easy and played softball and I was bleeding everywhere by the end of the game. (HINT: do not slide when you are wearing jeans with no knees in them). Saturday is back to the bar until we get kicked out.

Sunday is clean up and get out time!

Along the way, there are movies that get put in while we are in between injuries. Full Metal Jacket (3x minimum), Pulp Fiction, etc. This Year Boondock Saints!

This year I have to drive from MWE to Portland Maine for a conference on Monday morning. This is gonna hurt.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

RRRRobbie Burns

In honor of next weekend's upcoming Man's Weekend, I thought a little Robbie Burnes poetry was in order. Drink heartily me maties. Sure, Wyatt, Vinnie and the Badger will be doylt, drucken hash.

Scotch Drink

Let other poets raise a fracas Bout vines and wines, and drunken Bacchus, And crabbit names and stories wrack us, And grate our lug: I sing the juice Scotch bear can mak us, In glass or jug.

Oh thou, my Muse! Guid auld Scotch drink! Whether thro wimplin worms thou jink, Or, richly brown, ream owre the brink, In glorious faem, Inspire me, till I lisp and wink, To sing thy name.

Let husky wheat the haughs adorn, An oats set up their awnie horn, An pease and beans at e'en or morn, Perfume the plain: Leeze me on thee, John Barleycorn, Thou king o' grain.

On thee aft Scotland chows her cood, In souple scones, the wale o' food! Or tumblin' in the boiling flood Wi' kail and beef; But when thou pours thy strong heart's blood, There thou shines chief.

Food fills the wame, and keeps us livin'; Tho' life's a gift no worth receivin', When heavy-dragg'd wi pine and grievin'; But oiled by thee, The wheels o' life gae down-hill, scrievin', Wi' rattlin' glee.

Thou clear's the head o' doited Lear: Thou cheers the heart o' drooping Care; Thou strings the nerves o' Labour sair, At's weary toil: Thou even brightens dark Despair Wi' gloomy smile.

Aft, clad in massy siller weed, Wi' gentles thou erects thy head; Yet humbly kind, in time o' need, The poor man's wine, His wee drap parritch, or his bread, Thou kitchens fine.

Thou art the life o' public haunts; But thee, what were our fairs and rants? Ev'n godly meetings o' the saunts, By thee inspir'd, When gaping they besiege the tents, Are doubly fir'd.

That merry night we get the corn in, O sweetly then thou reams die horn in! Or reekin' on a New-Year mornin' In cog or bicker, And just a wee drap sp'ritual burn in, And gusty sucker!

When Vulcan gies his bellows breath, An' ploughmen gather wi' their graith, O rare to see thee fizz and freath I' the lugget caup! Then Burnewin comes on like death At ev'ry chap.

Nae mercy, then, for airn or steel; The brawnie, banie, ploughman chiel, Brings hard owrehip, wi' sturdy wheel, The strong forehammer, Till block and studdie ring and reel Wi' dinsome clamour.

When skirlin' weanies see the light, Thou maks the gossips clatter bright How fumblin' cuifs their dearies slight - Wae worth the name! Nae howdie gets a social night, Or plack frae them.

When neibors anger at a plea, And just as wud as wud can be, How easy can the barley-bree Cement the quarrel! It's aye the cheapest lawyer's fee To taste the barrel.

Alake! That e'er my muse has reason To wyte her countrymen wi' treason; But mony daily weet their weason Wi' liquors nice, And hardly in a winter's season, E'er spier her price.

Wae worth that Brandy, burning trash! Fell source o' mony a pain and brash! Twins mony a poor, doylt, drucken hash, O' half his days; And sends beside, auld Scotland's cash Tae her worst faes.

Ye Scots, wha wish auld Scotland well! Ye chief, to you my tale I tell, Poor plackless devils like mysel' It sets you ill, Wi' bitter, dearthfu' wines to mell, Or foreign gill.

Meaning of unusual words:

crabbit=bad tempered, cross lug=ear wimplin=twisting, turning jink=dodge nimbly faem=foam haughs=river meadowland awnie=bearded Leeze me on=an expression of extreme pleasure chows her cood=chews her cud souple=thin, pliable wale=the pick, choice kail=a curly variety of cabbage scrievin'=screeching doited=foolish, crazed sucker=sugar graith=harness for horses freath=froth, foam
lugget caup=cup with projecting handles Burnewin=blacksmith airn=iron owrehip=striking metal by raising a hammer over the shoulder studdie ring=anvil ring dinsome=riotous, brawling skirlin' weanies=screaming children cuifs=fool, simpleton howdie=midwife plack=a small copper coin (worth about one-third of a penny) wyte=blame spier=ask doylt, drucken hash=muddled, drunken mess plackless=penniless mell=mix

Friday, October 13, 2006

Annnnnd. . . . .GO!

One of the funniest scenes in Team America: . . . . .GO!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Madden About You!

This is Incredibly Funny!

The Great Pumpkin!!

The reason that I can't stay home for a long period of time it that I start thinking about ways to improve the house.

Case in point, I got this idea in my head for Halloween. The result is seen above. Unfortunately, as I look at it, I realized that Linus needs a sign that says WELCOME GREAT PUMPKIN! He could probably use his blanket as well. This project should be complete by January.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

All Out Battle!!!

Battlestar Galactica Season 3 premiered on Friday with a 2 hour special (I love a two hour special). Unfortunately, I had plans Friday night (insert D&D bashing here). So, under penalty of death, I instructed my daughter to tape the show for me. The manual TIVO (my daughter) went off without a hitch.

So yesterday, I hunkered down and watch the show.

After the first 10 minutes, I was lost and thought to myself "it seems like they are throwing in way too much stuff without explanation." I felt sad.

THEN . . . . .BAM!! It all started to gel (quitely hum Collective Souls "GEL" to yourselves). By the end of the two hours, I was hooked again. I can't wait for next week. I am now prompted to the following:

1. Thank You Wyatt for turning me on to the show. Now, if I can find time to put in disc one of Prison Break - The First Season.

2. How are we going to find a way to watch Battlestar the Friday night of Man's Weekend???

I was going to top this post with the picture below, but then nobody would read it. . .they would just sit and stare.

Mmmmmm . . . Cylons Take Me Away.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Government Waste

Everyone who reads this blog knows about my difficulty at work of late. Here's an situation to show just how ridiculous the place is.

I got a call on Tuesday from the Director's Office. . .generally not a good thing. Apparantly, someone complained about the amount of cigarette butts that were laying in the mulch near one of the entrances. Who's responsible???

"Hmmmm. . . My friend LMac has the janitorial contract. . .sounds like a janitorial issue."

"You have the Facilities Operation contract (nightmare famed in song and blog). We were told that it should be handled under that. We need to have a meeting tomorrow." (I hate stupid meetings)

So my friend and I pull out our respective contracts. . . .Janitorial contract says that they are responsible for keeping the entranceways clean. Lmac says the mulch isn't part of the entranceway (contractually). My contract says that:
1. They are responsible for the flowerbeds and grass, etc. Great!
Oh, but an amendment from the moron who issued the contract changed it to a cost time action under the contract. so they will do it, but it will cost us. . .or we can do it under lmac's. . . .and it will cost us.

My solution was to ban smoking on the compound. That went over really poorly. My smoking friend says "why dont' they make the smokers go out and pick them up. . again . . poorly received.

Note: There are three cigarette butts respecticles in the area. What's wrong with people. Smoking Bastards!!

So Despite my workload I spent about 2 hours of my day dealing with this crap. What a waste.

The Start. . .

The NHL and FHL and officially underway. . . .and life couldn't be sweeter. Well, the Flyers could have done SOMETHING last night, but. . . . .

Anyway, the NHL started Wednesday night and in the three games, there was a decisive win, and overtime win and a shootout. Wonderful!!

The FHL has been rolling along for a whole two day and has accumulated a total of 30 sidebets already.. . spend spend spend. I'm currently only down $.50. Vinnie has lost 4 for 4 so far. OUCH!!

My biggest worry now is that I will have to let stats slide a week while I am in main for my Conference. . . unless my bitch of a boss pulls it at the last minute. . . . . Screw Her! (No Thanks!)
I'm going to Maine.

Game On!!

Monday, October 02, 2006

McFarlane Strikes Again

That's right!! The new LEGENDS series of McFarlane figures has been announced and Clarkie is among the players representing.

Also, in his classic pose Bobby Orr. He looks like a cross between Bobby Orr and the priest that killed in the original Omen.

Squeezin' Out Parker!

This is in no way a hint to the Radio Gnome that we need more Graham Parker on Radio Hidebound :

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Okay. . . .One More

YouTube, you are the devil

But look at this. . . .


All that I have to say about this is that I really think that nobody is more racist against black people than other black people. I think I'm going to make video from my new Irish song "Unemployed and Drunk on Guinness".

This is embarrassing to me. . . .I can't imagine that minorities aren't offended by this.

Real World - Metropolis

Sorry, the only copy of this is prohibited as an embedded file. . .not as funny as the Star Wars thing, but worth a look:

Crazy Wack Funky

Or . . . . Here's an intro that is worth a watch

And Now the Best of Jackie Mason. . . .

This is a little more modern for the Anti-Prince Planet set.