Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I See You!!

A quick update!

Moon is about the same! Which sounds bad, but considering that last week he was a lot worse (we even got the "you'd better come up, now!" call), I'd not that bad.

It's gonna be a long road, but we remain hopeful.

I gave my wife a break on Saturday because she was a mess. I sat up there with him. Tube coming outta everywhere. He is getting dialysis everyday, he has a feeding tube, a trach hole, a tube draining his lung, and God knows what else. It's like something out of a Peter Cook book. He is being kept paralyzed so that he can get treatment without fighting it.

So, I'm there looking at this and I notice something.

The nurse comes in and I ask "Did he order coffee this morning?" She looks at me like I'm a moron. "What?" "Well, there's been a half drunk Dunkin'Donuts Iced Coffee on his tray since I've been here. I just assumed it was his!"
She gets all indignant . . ."It's probably the attending nurse's!"
"Well, I think it's disrespectful to the patients to leave trash in their room."
She storms out.

A short time later the attending nurse comes in and is fiddling with the tubes and stuff. When I looked up from my book, the coffee was gone.

I don't get up there often, but I make it count. They certainly know who I am now!

Update! Finally. . .I'm Blogging Again!

Although I still will be light in the blog (better than the loafers) for a bit, I do have time tonight for a partial update.

Work has turned into a complete shit storm. Despite the perception of "the Government Employee" I have a very busy job. We, of course, have no money to hire anyone so if someone leave they just divide the work (and not always evenly).

I had a fair workload a few years ago. it kept me busy and I was able to spend an adequate time running our FHL hockey league, blogging and listening to (plug). Then A women (who is a higher grade than me) retired. I got most of her work. The contracts are very high level and they are for a separate organization (think of me next time your getting patted down at the airport). The plus was that I got a little travel out of it. I was now busy and had more eyes on me.

About six months ago, the jerkoff who put the "High Maintenance" in the title of this blog left. He got promoted and left. That's right, a good chunk of his work fell to me. See, I found out that I have the distinction of having customers request me to work on their contracts because "I get things done". Unfortunately, this doesn't translate to a promotion that is three years behind schedule. Still, when people are taking you to Alaska, you endure.

Last week. . . . . . .

There is a VERY high level contract in our area. It happens to be the most difficult contract on the floor and VERY high dollar. My friend Mario has it. It basically runs everything. From electrical to construction to carpets to paving to fire department or anything else you can think of. Well, Mario is very easy going. He's like the Mayor of the place. All of a sudden, he's very unhappy. . . . . He can't talk about it. As it turns out, this thing is completely screwed up. Everyone involved gets castrated and hung. I get called in and I'm told, "You have this contract now." "Okay, what work am I loosing?" Anyone??????? Correct!! Nothing! I now have 203 Million dollars of work on my desk and a contract that is not only on the mind of management's management's management. It also has the attention of Congress. Nice! Why me!?! Because they know that I'm friends with Mario and they want me to fix this and bury him (not even 30 pieces of silver . . .Judas had a good deal in comparison!) Now, my other work isn't getting done and the customers that I have supported are getting the shaft.

PLUS. . . .It's been made clear that my promotion hangs in the balance. Promotion ~ Stab Friend . . . . . .

My plan B is to work this thing really hard and have a nervous breakdown, sue the Government and collect my promoted salary from home.

So what is everyone else up to?

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Crushing Wait!

My apologies to those who are regulars (and passers-by) to my blog. Between the changes at work and the health of my Father-In-Law, I have been too busy for anything (and just when I am getting material from this hellhole).

I will post as soon as I am able.


Saturday, July 08, 2006


As the Barry Mantillo song "Could It Be Magic Now" (or whatever it's called) plays on in my head, I have this to say. . . . . . .


That's right! I won the The GOP and the City Caption Contest from last week. I couldn't be prouder. I should submit entries on sleep deprivation all the time.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Father-In-Law Update!

First, I would like to that Linda and all those who have inquired about my Father-In-Law, Moon!

Moon is not doing well. Although the Doctor still expect a full recovery ("I still expect him to come home AND be productive"), so that is promising. I haven't heard any problems with the heart since they operated.

Unfortunately, his kidneys were shutting down and haven't come completely back up to speed. Yesterday, they inserted a Trach tube (or as my Mother-In-Law keeps calling it a "Trek". . . .of course, she keeps calling it his Salophagus too so. . . . . . ). He's got a feeding tube in his stomach because he can't eat because his mout is full of ulcers. At least his feet aren't blue anymore.

It's gonna be a long haul and my wife and Mother-In-Law are busting their chops running back and forth from the hospital.

Keep those prayers coming.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

AZ to DMV - Part 4 - The Finale

Let Wrap it up!

So the AZ trip is now over. And I pull into the parking lot to the DMV in NJ. This is a full half hour before it opens and there are six people waiting in their cars and one guy waiting at the door (he was there since 7:00 AM). I jump at this and as people see me getting in line, they begin to funnel out of their cars for "the line". I end up third in line.

For anyone who doesn't know (or who lives in a low population state) the DMV is a nightmarish place filled with every mutant know to man. Of course, working towards 28 hours of no sleep and a two day scruff going, I actually was one of the mutants.

Anyway, the pre-opening entertainment began about 7:50 AM. A lady pulls into the parking lot and threads two parked trucks. She proceeds to the parking space passed the parked trucks (so she could pull right out afterwards. doing that at 10 miles an hour is not recommended. At that very moment. . . . .The guy in the truck opens his door. BOOOOM!! Her passenger side widow explodes and both doors have more ridges than a Ruffles. This was actually more exiting than the rodeo.

Once the doors opened, I was sent back home to get the "Proper Identification". In NJ, you understand, you have to have 6 points of ID and their is a tangle skein of information that totals 6 points. My federal ID and my expired passport wasn't good enough. (My Passport has my picture and my information on it. . why does it have to be valid. I don't need a valid Passport. My taxes prevent me from being able to afford to go anywhere.

Home. . .Back.! Now I am 40-50th in line. Once through, I get "processed". . . .and then sit and wait for the call for the picture. . . . . .wait . . . . .wait. . . . .zzzzzzz. . . .huh. . . .. wait! Attention Everyone, due to the flooding in Trenton, all the systems are down. They may go up soon . . . .or not! I went to talk to the woman and make sure that she recognizes me when I come back. Around 10:30 I staggered out to go home and go to bed. . . . unlicensed.

Monday, the Governor shut the State down. I am currently driving unlicensed and cannot do anything about it.

NOTE: The bill got passed yesterday. . . ..DMV. . ..still closed!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


I got this quiz from Zippy's Blog (see right) Yee Dog! I'm 73% American!!
You Are 73% American
Most times you are proud to be an American.Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringeStill, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

AZ to DMV - Part 3

Friday - So now I'm at the airport . . . .a nice airport. I go to the USAir counter to switch to an earlier flight. There is a line for two specific flights, Philadelphia (Mine) and Charlotte. Okay, I'll play along. As I'm waiting in line I begin talking to people (because I have my necklace on, obviously) and I find out that everyone is on stand-by. The girl in front of me (Toyin. . .hey, I don't make 'em up) is a doctor at HUP. She's trying to get a flight so that she can get to work by Sunday and is not guaranteed anything until Monday (Remember, It's Friday!) By the time I get to the counter, I am thinking that I will just keep my flight. The guy at the counter gives me the "Let's see what I can do for you." attitude. I tell him that I'm on Government travel (which is guranteed seating) so he can give me my seat and I go off to kill time for a good portion of the day.

As I'm sitting there, I started thinking, wouldn't it be a good idea to have a movie theatre at the airport?? I could have caught a double feature.. . . Maybe Snakes On A Plane!

I read, I walked around and then I started talking to some nice girl from Orlando who was trying to get a flight to Phila or Charlotte and them hopefully get a connecting flight the next day (again, I had the necklace). We shot the shit for about 4 hours, I went to Chili's for a drink and a bite and went to the plane.

I watched the REAL "The Longest Yard" on the way home, as I can't sleep on a plane (there might be snakes on it). So, by the time the sun started coming up, I had finished my book and the movie and clocking close to 24 hours on the Wakey Wakey clock.

Did I mention that while out in AZ, I noticed that my license expired when June expired. So as Saturday's sun rose, so set my legal driving ability. Anyway, as the sun came up, I noticed the girl sitting next to me is this young blonde (young 20s) and is probably one of the most beautiful girl's that I've ever seen (and I'm watching Burt Reynolds). We start talking (which only wakes me up more) She says she hasn't seen grass in 8 months and Philadelphia looks like Ireland.

At this point, you would think that a bed was near (because I was awake for over 24 hours, not because of the cute chick) but No! I swing home grab my pertinent information and head to THE DMV!!!!!!

But that is another post. . . . .

And Now, This Message. . . . .

"I just want to make this perfectly clear to those who don't know me, I'm A COMPLETE ASSHOLE!!"

Monday, July 03, 2006

AZ to DMV - Part 2

So After the Hootinannie of a rodeo, went back to our hotel. The hotel parking lot just happened to be where they held the "dance" (1 step. . . .2 step) after the rodeo. Fortunately, I had choosen a room in the back of the hotel, so I could get some sleep. Beware Aware and Prepare!!

The next morning when all the smart people went home. (I should explain that I mistakenly booked a 10:15 PM flight for Friday. Nice! So, having to vacate the hotel and only have 14 hours to kill, I decided to take the scenic route back to Phoenix via Jerome. Jerome is a former little mining "town" that is built into the mountain. It now has a bunch of little shops and is at an elevation that exceeds 5,000. The view is beautiful. Of course, if you are the only one in the car that fact becomes irrelevent because there are few guardrails on the mountain and I doubt that anyone would ever find your body after the 5,000+ drop unless you were lucky enough to have your gas tank explode.

Half way there, I met a Hippie/Indian guy, who was selling trinkets out of the back of his car. He took my picture in exchange for the promise that I LOOK at his stuff. . . .No! No! Not that stuff! Anyway, He showed me a bunch of semi-precious stone jewelry. He takes one and explains that this one help ease nervousness and helps with things like public speaking. Since, I found it odd that the one stone he picked up was for the one thing that I have a problem with, I bought it for $15. "Ching!" goes the Hippie. He also gave me directions that would get me to Phoenix without going back over the mountain (information worth at LEAST $15).

Being on the other side of the mountain, I got to SEE the fires that have been in the news! He's the thing. Before the drive, I was thinking "There are 1,000s of firemen fighting this fire for weeks. How hard could it be to put out a fire?" Once I saw this:

I thought "How the Hell would you ever be able to put something like that out." The good thing was that I used the 25¢ viewer and could actually see the fire. The bad thing was that the 25¢ viewer in the 100 degree heat made my skin smolder. From there I made my way back to the Airport. With only 7 hours to spare. . . . . .

To Be Continued. . . . ..

Saturday, July 01, 2006


Well, I'm back!! the conference was a success. And by that, I mean that I didn't have to speak, I had enough downtime to site see and got to visit the local Brew Pub.

The Flight to Phoenix was okay. if you discount that once we boarded, we had to sit on the tarmac for over an hour before being cleared. "This is your Captain. We're still waiting for the go ahead. I've been given a list of the next 10 aircraft and. . uh. . . we're not even on it." Why bother even coming on with that tripe. Otherwise the flight was uneventful. I have thought of a new concept which I started this trip. It a twist on the old "covered dish" dinners. Whenever you fly, bring something that you can share with the people in your row. They should do like wise. "What?!?! You brought potato salad too!" I brought some Stello Doro breakfast cakes and individual peanuts. I shared and the guy next to me got extra forks to share his fruit tray that he bought on the plane. I was all very heterosexual and everything. As we landed that Captain said "Welcome to Phoenix, where the temperature is 105 degrees. Dammit. I boarded my rent-a-Hydaui and head to cooler temperatures towards Prescott.

The Conference tours were great. We got to see an 8 acre area that had airplane crashes that were reconstructed for a Aviation school's class to try and determine the cause of the crash. It was incredible. They also showed me some of the fight simulator's that I pay damn good money for and thus they put me in the pilot seat and had me flight around the airport and land on the runway. I survived, but I was sweating like a pig when I got out of there. It was like the real thing.

Tuesday, was a closed door meeting that I was barred from so I sulked into my car and went to the Grand Canyon.

Picture do not do it justice. I wish that I had the time to go into the Canyon, but would need about a week to really make it worth your while.

At night, we twice went to the Prescott Brewing Company. I had several samplers without a bad choice before deciding on the Porter. Yummy!!! Washing down the Buffalo Burger just about right.

Thursday night was the first night of the World's Oldest Rodeo. . . . . Sure! Why not! It was okay. I was sitting with this guy Ryan, from the Conference. I thought that we may die. As boredom set in with the calf tying event, we decided that we were gonna route for the calf. That little calf came out and we started yelling "Go GO RUN! Bob! Weave! Twice the calf got away and we started cheering. This went over less than well. . . .Mmmmmm Medium Well Calf!

I did learn the differnce between Western Dress and Western Casual. It's all in the shirt. If you have the ironed BLUE denims, cowboy boots, your trusty hat and a buttondown collared shirt, you are dressed to go-a-courtin'! If you have ironed BLUE denims, cowboy boots, your trusty hat and a tee shirt on. . .casual as ya please! Pickin' and A-Grinnin'!

More To Follow. . . . . . .