Friday, October 06, 2006

Government Waste

Everyone who reads this blog knows about my difficulty at work of late. Here's an situation to show just how ridiculous the place is.

I got a call on Tuesday from the Director's Office. . .generally not a good thing. Apparantly, someone complained about the amount of cigarette butts that were laying in the mulch near one of the entrances. Who's responsible???

"Hmmmm. . . My friend LMac has the janitorial contract. . .sounds like a janitorial issue."

"You have the Facilities Operation contract (nightmare famed in song and blog). We were told that it should be handled under that. We need to have a meeting tomorrow." (I hate stupid meetings)

So my friend and I pull out our respective contracts. . . .Janitorial contract says that they are responsible for keeping the entranceways clean. Lmac says the mulch isn't part of the entranceway (contractually). My contract says that:
1. They are responsible for the flowerbeds and grass, etc. Great!
Oh, but an amendment from the moron who issued the contract changed it to a cost time action under the contract. so they will do it, but it will cost us. . .or we can do it under lmac's. . . .and it will cost us.

My solution was to ban smoking on the compound. That went over really poorly. My smoking friend says "why dont' they make the smokers go out and pick them up. . again . . poorly received.

Note: There are three cigarette butts respecticles in the area. What's wrong with people. Smoking Bastards!!

So Despite my workload I spent about 2 hours of my day dealing with this crap. What a waste.


At 3:21 PM, Anonymous Vincent_Antonelli said...

I think they should make a new kind of cigarette that has edible butts. Butts which area laced/spiked with nicotine. So you can have your smoke, then chew up and swallow the butt. Therefore, no littered butts! You get the same nicotine high, and if you are trying to quit, after you chew the butts, it'd act like a nicotine patch. So you're less likely to crave the next cigarette!

If after chewing the butts off of all your cigarettes, you are still desperate for a smoke, your only choice is then to smoke them without filters (since you chewed them up). Most smokers aren't manly enough to smoke 'em without filters, so they would then buy another pack (thus keeping the company in business - its a poor business plan to sell a product that people won't continue buying). People will still go and buy their smokes, and have them if they need them, but mostly they'll just be chewing the butts off. So they'll be healthier. win-win!

Wait, I guess then you'd have the opposite problem: people would be throwing the tobacco filled parts of the cigarette in the mulch. Damn, back to the drawing board.

At 7:11 PM, Blogger Deathlok said...

There is this girl at work that has an edible butt. . . ..

At 10:42 PM, Blogger RT said...

So at what point did you pick up your really nice pen and stab yourself in the eye with it?

I thought my job had useless haggling and idiotic adherence to bs. Damn.

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

"There is this girl at work that has an edible butt. . . . ."

Well played.

BTW, did you watch the premiere of BSG???

At 9:13 PM, Blogger grimjack said...

I've always pondered why cigarette smokers are such slobs when it comes to disposing of the butts. I knew someone who loved to bitch about people not recycling, but she always tossed her butts on the gound. I printed out a report of how bad the problem created by disgarded butts for her, and she was offended. Save the world from plastic, but cover it in carcenogenic materials. Stupid Ass.

Here is my solution for work: Notify smokers that their garbage goes in the receptical. If you are seen not doing it, you get a written warning. Three warnings is a week off without pay. The next occurance is termination. Imagine going home to your family and explaining that you lost your job because you are a lazy, stupid sack of shit who can't follow a simple direction.

PS- this comes from a daily cigar smoker, so no whining from the smoker crowd.

At 8:28 AM, Anonymous jt said...

My question is this: in all that two hours, why didn't someone jsut put on a pair of gloves and go pick them up? It would have taken about 5 minutes...

At 11:59 AM, Blogger Deathlok said...

You can only do that in the real world, not the Government world. If they got rid of all the slacker pieces of shit, the halls would echo.

It would have taken a lot longer than 5 minutes. There were a lot. And if I was picking them up, I'd have been feeding them to anyone that came out for a smoke.
Not to mention that if my friend and I did that, we would have been reprimanded because we were late for out meeting with the Director. . . logic. . .not so much.

At 1:05 PM, Anonymous jt said...

That makes sense...


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