Tuesday, July 31, 2007

It's All Practical!!

I looked and couldn't find that I posted anything about this before, so I'm going with that. . . . . .

I was talking to someone the other day about practical jokes and it got me thinking. There was a time that I was into practical jokes. I have played some good ones and have had some great ones played on me. Here are the top practical jokes that I have actually been involved in (either giving or receiving)

3. Alka Seltzer – In college, the guys on my floor decided to get me back for something. . . .I’m sure that I did nothing. They had purchased an entire box of Alka Seltzer. They opened them all up and ground all the tablets into a fine powder. They waited until I went into shower and then threw the entire boxed of powdered tablets over the shower curtain and on top of me. . . . . .where I proceeded to unexpectedly fizz.

2. Have a seat – This joke is very hit or miss in today’s society, but back in college it was a slam dunk.
Step 1 – Scope out the local bathroom to see what color toilet seats are present (usually black or white)
Step 2 – Purchase matching color shoe polish.
Step 3 – Apply liberally.
Step 4 – Wait

Now with today’s disposable seat covers, you have less of a chance for success. Pre Sanitary Seat covers, this was a gem.

1. The best practical joke that I have ever witnessed was . . . .again. . . .from my college days. Keep in mind this is a long term practical joke. It’s the gift that keeps on giving and once you start it you can’t turn back. So BEWARE!
My roommate was dating the girl from Cabrini College. He received love mail everyday. EVERY DAY!! So I would go to our 4 in X 3 in mail slot and see his mail. So I would bitch down the hall “I never get any mail!!”
So, the guys on my floor decided that they would fix that. They filled out ever mail in flyer they could find with my name on it and my dorm room. They got bored and began changing my name . . . . Deathlok. . .O’Deathlok, Mc Deathlok, Deathlokonovich, Deathlokberg, Deathlokstein, Mr and Mrs McDeathlokonivichenberg. . . . . .and so on.
Soon, I was receiving mail for AARP applications, retirement homes (with floor plans), a sheet of material that if you wet your foot and put your footprint on it and mail it in, they will make you a custom pair of orthopedic shoes, condom samples (which were stolen before I even opened them . . . .the list went on and on and on. Soon, when I opened the mail slot the only thing in there was a yellow piece of paper. When I presented the paper to the mailroom, they would give me a bucket of mail. . . .. everyday. T

To give you an idea of how this gift keeps on giving, three or four years later, my brother was attending the same college and he started to get my mail forwarded to him.

Honorable Mention – this doesn’t make the official list because we never finished it. . . .a shame really.

Years ago, Grimjack and I would drive by this one house on our way to the pick someone up for the bar. This house had a Penguin on their lawn. We thought that was awesome. After a few POST DRINKING trips, we thought it would be funny to steal the penguin, take down their address and begin sending ransom notes. Then we decided we could get it trouble for that, we retooled our plan and decided that we should mail postcard from the penguin from all over the world. Anytime we would hear that someone was going on vacation, we would have them send a postcard from “The Penguin”.

One rainy night we were swerving our way home and it hit us. “Let’s Get it!” and we swiped the penguin. I stayed in the back of my car for a long time. (One particularly late night. . .and by late, I mean drunken. . . . Grimjack and his friend Mary were chasing my car because in the state that they were in, they came to the conclusion that the secret formula to Cap’n Crunch was inside the penguin and they had to get it . . . .but I digress).

Finally, after months, we decided to just return the penguin with a little suitcase with travel stickers on it. When we drove by, the house had two lawn frogs on the lawn. We were so incensed that they thought that two lawn frogs could replace the penguin, that we decided that they didn’t deserve to have the penguin back. He soon became a fixture outside my apartment. Eventually he fell apart, but a God shined down on me one day, I was walking through a store and saw a brand new penguin that was THE SAME PENGUIN. He is outside my house today.

So, anyone got any good practical jokes???


At 5:42 PM, Blogger RT said...

Those were great! I really liked the mail idea. That would be a good one to pull on a friend or family member. Could you imagine having a really conservative relative and he/she receives a "toy" catalog? HA!

At 6:04 PM, Blogger Queen of Dysfunction said...

I love the mail thing. That is awesome. And probably still useful. As in "I'm sooooo grabbing a bunch of mail-in stuff and putting my neighbor's names ALL OVER THEM!"

At 7:40 PM, Blogger radio gnome said...

How about a dead body?

we had a tradition at my high school (prep school . . . and, yes, I think this is a important detail in all of this) called "The Senior Prank".

You know, take apart the chemistry teacher's VW bug and reassemble it in his classroom kind of stuff.

The senior prank my junior year, which I didn't have anything to do with of course, was so-so. One day we woke up (dorm student doncha know) and heard an odd noise which turned out to be ten thousand crickets in our library which was in the building next to my dorm (three thousand on the first floor, seven thousand on the second, or vice versa).

During my senior year, a body floated up on the bank of the Tennessee River about a hundred yards away from campus. It actually didn't quite float up on the bank; it got caught in some tree branches a few yards from the bank and a couple of my school mates found it while they were canoeing on the river.

At night.

While it was raining.

With creepy music rolling over the water coming from nowhere.

We had another tradition called RAGTAILS (the Red And Grey Talent And International Lampoon Show). Guys, it was an all-boys school when I went there, would play instruments, solo acts, full bands, we'd do little SNL-like skits AND we had "Weekup Endate", a sendup of the SNL news thingie.

Unbelievably I was asked to co-anchor Weekup Endate my senior year (I didn't really even think anybody knew who I was). I think I did four stories, but I can only remember the two that worked and the one that failed miserably, which I, of course, was convinced was brilliant.

My last story went something like this:

"A body was found near the banks of the Tennesse River on the Baylor campus last week. The man was identified as an ecapee from a nearby mental institute. Headmaster Dr. Herbert Barks was heard to say that he knew this year's senior class had a lot of chutzpah, but this was easily the best senior prank he could remember."

Okay, not a real prank, but I love telling that story.

At 11:51 PM, Anonymous dragonlady474 said...

At one place I worked at we were always playing practical jokes on each other. It got so bad that after work, before we got into our cars, we would walk around our vehicles and all get on our hands and knees to check under our cars to see if anyone had attached anything.
Once, before I worked there, I guess someone placed a smoke detector underneath the ashtray in a chain smokers vehicle. Apparently it went off as he was driving down the road and scared the shit out of him. heh

At 12:04 AM, Anonymous dragonlady474 said...

I almost forgot about a practical joke I was there for. One day we superglued my boss' coffee cup to his desk and then filled it with hot coffee. That bastard wouldn't come off for anything. He finally had to kick the cup (coffee went everywhere) to break it off. lol

Also, someone else once told me that they put baby powder in the air conditioning vents in someone's car so that when they turned on the air it blew out white powder everywhere. I thought that one was pretty cute.

At 12:38 PM, Blogger Deathlok said...

The toy catalog would excellent.

I would recommend the neighbor because you can deny it and watch it. As for friends and family. remember, the joke has the equivalence to the part in the movie where the guy says "How do we stop it?" "You can't!"

A dead body in a joke is always funny. Look what it did for Weekend at Bernie's.

My big problem now is how to beat Wyatt before HE put the smoke detector in my brother's car.

At 1:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always enjoyed the old "trap a nasty fart in a raquetball can" myself. This is particularly effective the day after "Mexican" night in the dorm caf followed by a keg or two.

Your old raquetball buddy

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Deathlok said...

Considering how often I engage in sporting activities that leaves a choice of . . . . . .let's see. . . .carry the two. . . . one.

At 1:39 PM, Anonymous jt said...

This one was done in my office just this week:

A script was written that dialed a certain persons cell number every 30 seconds for 12 and half days.

It pretty much made the cell phone useless.

I can email the script to you if you want...

At 8:42 PM, Blogger skywriter said...

I was flying an airplane that had a "glass" cockpit. . the instruments were all TV screens (to describe it simply). At night you could turn down the intensity so they weren't too bright. If you did that in the day, they'd look black. During the day, in really good weather, on autopilot, we turned them down so they were all "black" called up the flight attendant and told her "our radios aren't getting reception, we need your help" and gave her a pair of rabbit ears we made out of a coat hangar, to hold up in the front of the cabin turning this way and that trying to "get a signal". This was well before the days the cockpit door was locked. The passengers were about busting a gut trying not to laugh, they knew we were just messing with her. .. . she never caught on. She did it for about 3 minutes, we said "thanks". . turned the light level back up and continued on our way.

At 7:42 AM, Blogger Deathlok said...

Sky, with your permission, I would like to share that with the GA Research guys here. They'll think it's a hoot. . . .because it is a hoot.

At 5:17 PM, Blogger skywriter said...

Sure go ahead. . . We were bad at that sort of thing. . . making them collect "air samples" from the eyeball outlets with a hefty bag "to give to maintenance". . flushing the toilet every 15 minutes "to keep our hydraulic pressure up". . .But there was payback. . I got a crew meal glued to the plate once. . .

At 2:38 AM, Blogger Brad said...

I have to say that I was involved in both the Alka-Seltzer and the mail stunts (though much more heavily in the latter). We would call every late night 800 number ("Call for a free brochure!"), fill out every information card. And there were probably a dozen of us doing it. The college mailroom hated us more than Herr Deathlokmeister!

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