Saturday, May 13, 2006

1 Brain + 1 Brain = No Brains!!

Tales of Deathlok and Grimjack - A Series

Grimjack and I have been hanging around forever. We grew up together (we are cousins) and after a brief drifting apart around the high school years, we grew close again and have been hanging around together ever since.

Grimjack is my daughter's Godfather and I am his daughters and he was my best man at my wedding. But before all that, there was us and a whole lot of lack of responsibility. Here are some examples (Note: All these stories are true):

1. My favorite because of the absurdness of it (if only there was a video of it) is the time that Grimjack invited me to a party with a group of people. People he worked with? Friends from the halfway house? Whatever! Anyway, it was a costume party. Now, back in the day, I was insane for Halloween and would spend hours on a costume. I had this awesome Jester costume complete with sequins, tassles a jingles. Half blackface/Half white (like those Star Trek guys) with a red heart over the eye., it was nice. Of course, no one else is dress nearly like that. Basic bullshit costumes. . . .and I don't know anyone. So we are partying and drinking. . .. FUN! After a while we get wind that the cops are coming and Grim tells me that we are the only two people at the party who are legal. . .NOT FUN!! So we haul ass out of there. As we are leaving, I grab the cake. In the parking lot we pass the cops. For some reason the cops didn't stop the jester running through the parking lot with a cake. . . .it was hysterical. As we drove home, we imagined how funny it would (in jail) if we hit the cops in the face with the cake and "yuck yuck yuck"ed it to the car. In reality, the last thing we would have heard was "Shoot To Kill!" I'm thinking that a night in jail for Grimjack would have been much better than a thin guy dressed in spandex.

2. Movie Drinks

The movie drinks story is actually two stories.

The first part is on one of our ventures to Penn State. Through time and sobriety, I can't remember if we were visiting my friend Joe or his friend Mary (although I would bet on Mary). Anyway, The Penn Staters decided to go see the Terminator, which was showing at some Penn State theater. But what to bring??? I had (and still have) a long black wool coat that was the pride of 80s fashion. The pockets in this thing are numberous and deep. We decided to bring beer into the theater. In fact, I can't remember who we we visiting with 100% certainty, but I remember a case of Michelob (remember when we drank that stuff). . .go figure. Anyway, we got an entire case of beer in the coat and actually got it into the theater. Once we got settled, I started handing out beers like a vending machine. We decided that it would be smart to just flick the caps onto the carpet in the aisle (instead of placing them on the floor). Problem was that there was no carpet in the aisle. You have no idea how loud a beercap is in a quiet movie theater. Being on campus, no one bothered us and the movie night was a success.

The beer in the movie thing became a ritual for Grimjack and I, until . . . . .

Years later, we were going to the movies at the now defunct GCC Northeast in Philadelphia. Grim says lets bring a six pack in. My Spidersense is telling me that this is a bad idea, but I cave like a "flan in the cupboard" (Eddie Izzard reference). As we enter the theater, the manager stops us and searches us. WHY? Because he watched us load our pockets with beer in the parking lot!! So, as we are being served a large bucket of humiliation, a black cloud of gloom comes over me. "I knew this was a bad idea."

We get in and sit down. As the lights go down, Grimjack leans over and says "Do you want some of this?" apparently, they missed one. "NO! I don't want any!" As we left the theater, we continued our disagreement as Grimjack insisted that we go and ask for our beer back. I think I won that argument.

Grimjack?? Would you like to add one?


At 1:54 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Well played. I would have paid cash money to see you guys getting frisked by "The Pimply-Faced Teen" from The Simpsons!

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At 9:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude...sequins and spandex?? How many people thought you were gay?? (J/K) I'm sorry. How many people thought you were flamboyant?? ha

At 9:12 PM, Anonymous linda said...

Sorry, I seemed to have forgotten my name! But only the last comment was mine!

At 11:22 AM, Blogger radio gnome said...

not gay NO!!!! Tranvestite! And not a weirdo transvestite, NO!!! An executive transvestite!! Yeah, running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on makeup once you're there.

Next to a squirrel.

Longing for a grapefruit.

At 12:46 PM, Blogger Deathlok said...

Wyatt, most of the "Pimply-Faced Teens" were drinking at the party.

Linda, if you are going to comment as "anonymous" you are apparantly supposed to sell me templates or something. Maybe the outfit explains why I was at an underage party and still couldn't pickup.

Now everyone brush up on their Eddie Izzard before RG and I get into our "Cake or Death" rant.

At 2:05 PM, Anonymous linda said...

Not responsible for the first anonymous comment!
Do you have a pic of that outfit? It should've been put in your annual with Most Likely to Succeed for a caption! kidding, just kidding! don't get your spandex in a bunch! ha Creative, but alittle on the flamin' side! Just sayin'..schweet...okay I'll stop before you get your feelings hurt! You sweet thing..okay, okay!

At 3:26 PM, Blogger Deathlok said...

Wyatt, tell Linda that I have no feelings! I'm like a callous rhino.

At 5:09 PM, Blogger radio gnome said...

cake please (sorry, couldn't help myself).

At 7:23 PM, Blogger zippychik said...

A thin man dressed in spandex and bearing a cake no less! Now I know where the man of my dreams was!!!!

At 9:33 PM, Blogger grimjack said...

The thing about the movie episode was that my attitude was "It's a $4 movie. So what if we get kicked out". That, added to the manager collecting 5 beers, demanding to know where the 6th one was. I think I said I drank it on the way. Of course, he threatens to throw us out if he finds that we are lying. Again, at a movie theater, not an international customs checkpoint or something. The sheer seriousness of the manager just was pure comedy to me. Then Lok being pissed that I opened the beer. Neither of us can probably remember the movie.

The jester costume. To put it in perspective, Lok is thin, and this thing fit like a glove. I was the second best dressed person, wearing Lok's Gi. I think we took the cake to a second party, where no one could understand why we were laughing.

At 1:17 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

A callous rhino has more feelings than you do.

At 5:13 PM, Blogger Deathlok said...

I actually have a picture of that costume somewhere. I'll dig it up and post it!

At 5:17 PM, Anonymous linda said...

I can't wait!


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